Surfacing After Silence

Life. After.

Staying on the Path


I was talking to someone the other day about relapse, and she’s at a crucial moment where she has multiple options, some of which could turn out well, and some of which could lead to disaster.  She knew what direction she wanted to go, but she felt shame for being in that position in the first place. 

As I mentioned in my previous post: I am fully recovered, but I am also fully human.  And I think we all have to accept our human moments.

Recovery would be grand if it were a one-way street, lined with flowers and shady trees and park benches upon which to rest.  But it’s not.  It’s more of a twisty, windy road with stretches of daisies and stretches of thorns and poison ivy.  And in order to get to your destination, you have to go through both the daisies and the poison. 

There is no shame in that.  There should be no guilt.  What these moments are are opportunities.  You can continue on the path, working your way toward recovery, or you can step off of the path.  It is a choice, and now that you have awareness of your surroundings, the choice is yours. 

It would also be grand if everyone’s path to recovery looked the same.  Then I could stand here and tell you exactly what your next move should be and when exactly you should make that move.  I could guide you every single little step of the way, and I could even put a blindfold on you and still lead you out safely. 

But our paths are all different.  Similar, but, ultimately, different.  I can offer suggestions and advice, knowing what worked for me on my path, but I cannot give you a definitive GO THIS WAY command. 

Staying on the path is difficult.  It’s a commitment, one that will require moments of re-commitment again and again and again.  None of these moments mean that you are going the wrong way or that you have made a mistake.  They mean that you are human and you now have another moment to choose to work toward recovery.  

When I see people struggle through these moments, I do not focus on the fact that they are struggling. I focus on their courage.  It takes courage to admit you are struggling and to face it.  It takes even more courage to grab ahold of someone’s hand and start walking forward, and that is the most important thing.  Not the struggle, but the courage.

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September 1, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Alexis! Hello! This is Mindy! I have not talked to you in literally years, but stumbled upon your blog and was so happy to read a little bit about your life. I’m happy that you’re diong well and can totally identify with the ongoing struggle that weight and body image can be, while still being fully in recovery. I’m not on facebook anymore, but if you ever want to catch up, my email is mrichert89@gmail.com. be well.

    Comment by mindy | November 12, 2013 | Reply


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