Surfacing After Silence

Life. After.

An Open Letter to Those Losing Weight

Dear S0-and-So-Who-Is-Following-Doctor’s-Orders,

I realize that, medically, losing weight and becoming more in shape is healthy for you and what your body needs.  And I am proud of you for taking medical advice seriously and taking appropriate action.

Dear So-and-So-Who-May-Need-to-Lose-Weight-But-is-Doing-So-Unhealthily,

I realize that, medically, losing weight and becoming more in shape is healthy for you and what your body needs.  And while I commend your desire to follow medical advice, the manner in which you are going about it is disturbing and, if nothing else, borders on obsessive, and most likely falls into the official “disordered” category.

There is a misconception that you have to be stick thin and bony to fall into eating disorder behavior (and diagnosis), but there is no weight cut off.  Cutting out entire food groups and attending multiple exercise classes a day propel you into “unhealthy obsession” at the bare minimum.  I am worried about your physical and psychological health and would like to see you talk to someone so you can enjoy a healthy relationship with your body–regardless of its size and shape.

I am also concerned for those around you.  For anyone recovering from an eating disorder, let alone for someone trapped in the midst of an eating disorder, your behaviors and words encourage an eating disorder lifestyle and discourage someone from seeking recovery.  For someone in recovery from an eating disorder, your behaviors and words make us question our own recovery.  None of us are fooled by your claims of “health” and “nutrition” and “strength.”  We have used those excuses ourselves, and they only ever led us down a path of destruction, which is what we see happening in your life.  These excuses also hurt on a personal level because they make us realize that you do not respect what we went through in order to recover, and they also mean that you do not believe our reasons for our concern.  For someone on the verge of an eating disorder, your actions and words only encourage said individual to go ahead and plunge into the ice cold water of what is actually an illness and not a lifestyle.

Please know that you are cared for, and that we wish for you true health.  Please know that the path you are on will not lead to happiness, but will, in fact, lead to depression and self-hate.  Respect not only those around you, but also yourself.


June 2, 2011 - Posted by | Body Image, Communication, Eating Disorders, relationships | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Very eloquently put. I stand strong with you on this one.

    Comment by Neesha | June 2, 2011 | Reply

  2. Amen.

    Comment by Wednesday | June 2, 2011 | Reply

  3. I hope this post gets seen by the person it’s addressing.

    Comment by anon | June 8, 2011 | Reply

  4. Digging your blog, it looks like we have a lot in common!

    Comment by Matt No More | July 13, 2011 | Reply

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