Surfacing After Silence

Life. After.

How Far You’ve Come


I started off in a little, tiny town in upstate New York.  And now, thirty-four years later, I’m working in central Missouri.  I’ve come quite a long way.  Distance wise, to be sure.  I’ve also gotten my (two) Bachelor’s degrees and my Master’s along the way and am now teaching at a college.  I started a PhD program, but due to health reasons, withdrew from the program.  Too many heart complications kept rising up.  I tend to get down on myself for that.  I mean, I was also the honors student and school was my thing.  I sometimes feel like I’ve failed by withdrawing from the program, even though I know it was the best thing for me to do for multiple reasons.  And then one of my Facebook friends posted this quote:

‎”Success isn’t how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started.” — Steve Prefontiane

It’s a great reminder for me.  So I don’t have my PhD as I had planned.  But I really have travelled a hell of a distance over the years, and not just academically.

There was a point when I wasn’t able to be in school because of the anorexia.  I was in and out of treatment and I just physically couldn’t keep up.  I won that battle though.  And, as I mentioned in my How I Did It post, during and after recovery, a lot of issues raised their ugly little (big) heads.  I’ve worked through a lot of those issues in therapy, and I’m not ashamed to admit I’m still in therapy and still working on some issues.  I’m proud as hell that I can now work on those issues without resorting to the eating disorder, though.  There was a time when I never thought that would be possible.  Yet here I am.

My journey is not finished.  I still have things to work on, and I’m sure that life will throw new things in my direction as I continue along this path.  But my success isn’t measured by where I stand now.  My success is measured by all the work I have done over the years, all the progress I have made–sometimes fast and sometimes painstakingly slow.  My success lies in the fact that I am still working, that I am still growing, and that I am still setting my sights ahead of me and making progress.

I know it’s easy when you are struggling with an eating disorder, another addiction, depression, and anxiety (to name just a few things) to feel a sense of failure because you aren’t “better” yet.  It’s easy to compare yourself to people who may be further down the road of recovery than you.  But I want to encourage you to think about where you started and think about where you are now.  Don’t think about other people or where you eventually want to be.  Think about the progress you have thus far and give yourself credit for it.  Be proud of the progress you have made.  You’re still here, fighting this battle, which is a huge success in and of itself.  Be proud of that.  Be proud of you.

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May 28, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

4 Comments »

  1. 🙂 BE PROUD OF YOU TOO HUN

    xoxo
    -Lisa

    Comment by Lisa | May 29, 2011 | Reply

  2. Важен е напредъка и ви поздравявам, че сте го осъзнали. Всеки напредък идва за сметка на жертви, труд и знания! Желая ви късмет!

    Comment by zaw12929 | May 30, 2011 | Reply

  3. Thank you for reminding me of this meaning of success. Keep on keeping on!

    Comment by nonjudging | May 31, 2011 | Reply

  4. […] How Far You’ve Come « Surfacing After Silence. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. ← The Trance of Unworthiness « Surfacing After Silence LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

    Pingback by How Far You’ve Come « Surfacing After Silence | Non-Judging | May 31, 2011 | Reply


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