Annual Heart Walk
I normally don’t use this blog this way. But this is a cause that is near and dear to my, well, my heart. I was diagnosed with Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia two years ago–a heart disease that has caused a sudden cardiac arrest, multiple episodes of V-Tach and I’ve lost count of the hospital and ER trips. I now have a implantable defibrillator. But there is no cure, no treatment. It’s a progressive and degenerative heart condition, which basically means, the muscle cells in my heart are slowly dying. I do this walk every year to help raise money for the American Heart Association, which helps fund research. Maybe someday they’ll find a cure or at least a treatment for my illness.
Please consider donating. The minimum online donation is 25, but if you don’t have a credit/debit card or if you want to donate 5 dollars, message me through my Facebook Page and I will send you my snail mail address. ANY amount is appreciated. I only have one month left to reach my goal of $500. I did it last year, so I know I can do it again.
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History in Brief
I know many of you will have questions about me, my history, my recovery. While illness is not the focus of this blog, I want you to know where I am coming from.
Pinpointing the start of any eating disorder is often difficult. I’ve been an athlete since I was five. I discovered I could “escape” through running when I was in junior high, beginning a long history of exercise addiction and abuse. After I graduated from high school, I developed anorexia. I’ve been hospitalized multiple times, and in the beginning had no intention of getting better. But I explained things to a recent doctor this way: “I spent the first 30 years of my life not caring if I lived. Now I’m prepared to do anything to ensure I do.” That included giving up a twelve-year relationship with anorexia.
People will ask, “How sick were you?” which, in my opinion, is simply another way of asking, “How thin were you?” I will not answer any questions about size or weight. I was sicker than some, not as sick as others. I’m alive, though, and a lot of people who were not as “visibly sick” as I was, are not. If the one thing you take away from this page is that you don’t have to be thin to die from an eating disorder, I’ll be happy.
People ask, “Why did you get better?” At first, I did it because I didn’t want my nephew growing up visiting me in hospitals. When he was born, he took hold of my heart in a way I never expected. I carried around pictures of him to remind me to eat. Then, I did it for me. I did it for me because one day, someone asked me what I did for a living. And I answered, “I’m in a Master’s program.” But then I realized: I wasn’t in a Master’s program. I was in the hospital. For the second time since I had started that program. And even when I was in class, I wasn’t really in class. I was 2% student and 98% anorexic. And I realized I didn’t want to be known as “that girl,” or “the sick girl” anymore. I wanted to be known as a writer, a friend, an aunt, and a whole list of other things.
And I couldn’t do those other things until the anorexic part of me was gone.
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Ne sym ot Amerika, a ot naj bednata strana na ES.
Pvelawam da se nameri le`enie!
I was just diagnosed with ARVD after surviving (closely) an episode with V tach HR over 230. Thank you for promoting awareness. I am 25 and scared, but I will donate and try to get my friends and family to donate to this cause.